Liveblogging the Obama Presser


Jaleel White
President Snappy Pants

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Starting 45 minutes late:

Soros was late giving Obama his talking points or what?

(still a no show)

Are they trying to talk Urkel out of the bathroom? Is she fixing her hair?

(here we go, this is gonna be good) 

  • Ya gotta pay your fair share and we have to adjust Medicare. (uh oh)
  •  Bi partiscal..uh Partisan (it’s a little early for a tipple, isn’t it?)
  •  He’s partnering with Boehner now. Not a lack of policies that is the problem. It’s the insistence on drawing lines in the sand. We need to change.
  •  We need to reach a compromise. (ie: Teaparty needs to shut up)
  •  Bi partisan (we hate that word) committee will have full cooperation of WH. (uh oh, that can’t be good)
  •  The issue is jobs and the slow pace of recovery coming out of this recession (hahahaha coming out of a recession?!)
  •  Extending payroll tax cut (spend that $1.00 well!)
  •  You get your unemployment insurance. (uh thanks?)
  • We can do this as soon as Congress gets back. (good luck with that)
  • Debt ceiling increase has been agreed to a gajillion times in the past (Obama hearts Reagan, now)
  • Blaming the Japan earthquake again. (??)
  • We will always be a AAA country. (mmkay.. we guess if Dear Leader declares it so..)
  • We have the will to act (Acting is what caused this problem)
  • Worst financial crisis since the 1930’s the American people are handling it with grace. (Sure, if rage is graceful)
  • He has faith. (ok, we get it, quit buttering us up, get to the usual insulting)
  • He loves our Armed forces (who Biden got killed)
  • blah blah blah, (he seems rambly) great mission, they were joined by Afghan troops, don’t forget that 7 of them died.
  • We will press on (with the war he voted against) and we will succeed (after we threaten to withhold our soldier’s paychecks)
  • 30 Americans were lost (no mention of SEALs – take note, Biden.)
  • He abruptly ends and runs away with his little Urkel arms flailing

(Meanwhile…)

Stocks in Free Fall: Dow Dives Below 11,000 as Traders Flee Equities
 
You can read what other “folks” thought, here:
 
 And here:

Tada!  You’re welcome, dear readers!

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